Opening the floodgates of the wrong emotions

Hey Precious Lady

Hope you are learning from the stories that we share on this platform.

I want to continue my story of how I unwittingly opened the floodgates to fornication. If you missed the first part, I’ll suggest that you read it first and then come back to this.

After my first kiss with my first high school boyfriend (don’t worry, I had only two), the dynamics of our relationship changed as one would expect.

We went further and further; as much as we could do in an empty classroom without getting caught.

Hands delighted themselves by grazing over delicate body parts. When that wasn’t enough, we moved to removing buttons and lifting up blouses. That was as far as I could go though.

Whenever his hands went under my skirt, I removed them. Down there was a no-go area. My rationale was everything else was ok as long as I was not having sex. I didn’t want anything that would accidentally lead me to having sex.

And so we continued. My body desired his touch. We never had any meaningful conversations. I started getting jealous when I saw him with other girls. I wanted him to be mine and mine alone.

He was never mine. Turned out he was cheating on me all along.

I walked in on him with another girl in a classroom. He gave a lame excuse. I acted ignorant. I still allowed him to touch me. My mind was saying no but my body was screaming yes.

Eventually, that relationship ended; with my reputation smeared too. I discovered that he went around telling all the boys what he did with me and what he didn’t do. How embarrassing!

For a year and a half, I had nothing to do with a guy.

But that feeling didn’t leave me.

I desired to be touched. I desired to be kissed so passionately,

I think about it and I wonder why I never experimented with masturbation. Touching myself just never appealed to me. I know it was by the sheer grace of God because that desire was so strong.

After having my fingers burnt, I wasn’t so eager to get into any relationship.

But then my second boyfriend came along. The boy who made ‘fall in love’. The boy I would have willingly given all of myself to but for God who held us back and prevented us from going on a path we would both regret.

I’ll tell you all about him next week.

With love,

Ms Jasmine


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