I was never really interested in boys as a young girl.
Maybe it was because I was a tomboy. I played FIFA and video games with the boys in the neighbourhood. I wrestled with them. I was one of them. They didn’t see me as a girl. I was huge and I wore baggy clothes.
Then my body began to change but I still submerged the looming ‘sexiness’ under hideous clothes.
When I got to SS1, many of my friends had boyfriends.
No boy asked me out; I really wasn’t the prettiest of the bunch.
I would roll my eyes when my friends started with all the mushy talk. “What’s the big deal about having a boyfriend?” I wondered.
Then one day I heard those words, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
This guy must be joking! He was one of the most popular guys in my set. Me, me of all people? I wondered why.
But my curiosity got the better part of me. I wanted to see what was in this boyfriend thing.
So I said yes, almost immediately.
And then we began. We held hands. We hugged more tightly than before. We spoke for long hours on the phone. He sent me mushy texts.
He made me feel all tingly inside. It was a new feeling. I didn’t want it to stop.
One day after school, I was looking for him. A friend of his told me he was waiting for me in a classroom upstairs.
I changed direction.
As I opened the door, I saw him staring outside the window.
Then he turned and looked deep into my eyes.
I didn’t understand this look.
He walked closer and closer…until there was no space between us.
And then it happened. My first kiss. My body exploded.
Almost as immediately as the kiss happened, one of his hands began to descend. Somehow it found itself stuck on my breast.
Honestly, I enjoyed what was happening but there was a voice saying, “Do you really want to do this?”
I ignored the voice. I basked in the moment; the moment I opened the door to fornication.
When we pulled apart, I knew I had become different.
Little did I now this ‘different’ will bring me so much hurt and pain.
I’ll tell you more next week!